It occurs to me that some people visiting this site didn’t know Gavin or didn’t know him well. Friends of friends, family who live in other parts of the country, or maybe someone who just hears of Gav’s story and wants to learn more. I wanted to relay several small but significant memories to offer some insight into how special our son is. I hope to expand on many of these in future journal entries.
Gavin was born the second of our two boys, our youngest child. He was an easy baby. He ate and slept well. He was cheerful and mellow the vast majority of the time. However, when he was angry or sad or just feeling ornery you knew it through his very loud cries. We used to joke that he was going to be a rock singer when he grew up. There were plenty of early exits from church (we used to call it the walk of shame) when baby Gav decided he’d had enough and was outclassing the church audio system.
He had a persistent cough as a young boy which we learned was a milk allergy combined with seasonal allergies. We adjusted his diet which helped, but as he got older and could make more of his own choices we couldn’t always deter him from milk or ice cream treats. He loved superman flavored ice cream as a younger boy, and also enjoyed cake batter flavor. Superman ice cream tastes like vanilla to me, but I think he was drawn to the blue, red and yellow swirly colors. You could always tell when young Gav ate ice cream as ¼ of it tended to end up on his face and shirt.
Gav loved electronics from a very young age. He loved spending time on gaming systems and apps on our phones. As he grew older, he enjoyed playing games online with his friends. If given the choice that’s where he'd have spent most of his free time. He turned his love of video games into a curiosity about programming and code. For this 13th birthday he asked for a membership to Code Ninjas, a tutoring center for young kids where he could learn basic programming and how to create video games. Code Ninjas has a karate style belt system to show progress. Gav earned his orange belt in August. I think he would have continued pursuing programming either as a career choice or just for fun. Computer logic seemed to work well with his logical brain.
He also loved music. He and Conor participated in music lessons and middle school band for many years. Gav played piano and oboe, and he asked for a ukelele for Christmas when he was 11 or 12. We loved the ukelele idea; it just seemed to fit his personality so well. He even sang a few times at church mass. I remember thinking how courageous he and all the other young kids are to sing in front of a crowd.
Gavin had a strong relationship with God. This gives us tremendous comfort.
Gav participated in lots of different sports over the years; gymnastics, karate, swimming, basketball, flag football and ultimately rowing. He was always one of the bigger kids for his age. Some of the other parents still joke about how Gav would stop and apologize to his opponents if he bumped into them and knocked them over while playing football and basketball.
He did very well at school without a lot of effort. I have to admit, sometimes the seeming lack of effort drove me nuts, but it was tough to argue with the results.
Gavin was funny…very funny. He had a very easy-going manner about him. He never took himself too seriously as evidenced by his sense of dress; crazy colored crocs, athletic shorts, a SpongeBob SquarePants or Patrick Star t-shirt and often times a baseball cap over his thick, dirty-blond colored hair. He was starting to get into wearing Hawaiian shirts for more dressy occasions. Having said this, Gav liked to dress sharp when the occasion called for it. He took pride in knowing how to knot a tie.
He was a sensitive child; very aware of people around him. He hated injustice, particularly bullying. I don’t recall him ever being the victim of extensive bullying; just the typical teasing most kids go through. Whether through this experience or if was just part of what made him special, he had a strong sense of justice and empathy for those who needed it. I remember him being moved to tears by the movie The Greatest Showman where people on the fringe of society bonded with one another with a sense of pride and purpose despite their outcast status in “normal” society. He was nine years old at the time.
Gavin was a Scout since first grade. He didn’t always enjoy camping, especially if the bathrooms were not well kept. Gav had a strong dislike for bugs. This isn’t terribly compatible with Florida camping where spiders, palmetto bugs and even frogs make themselves right at home in your tent. Gav earned the rank of Star and was actively working toward Life rank. He was named Assistant Senior Patrol Leader in his Troop a few weeks before he died. Gav was determined to earn the rank of Eagle Scout as early as this year. There is no question in my mind he would’ve done it.
My work involves travel which takes me away from home periodically. Gav shared with me not too long before he passed that he didn’t like when our family wasn’t all in one spot. When he was younger, he used to greet me when I came home from work by running full speed down the hallway and slamming into me with a hug. Gavin gave the best hugs. He committed and was all in on the hug. I think he really enjoyed giving them.
Gav was given a stuffed animal leopard by his aunt when he was only a few years old. Leopard was never far from Gav’s side at home. He slept with him every night and could often be found draped over Gav’s shoulder, Gavin chewing on his tattered tail. Gav felt very comforted by Leopard and kept him close up until the day he passed. We always loved Gav’s relationship with Leopard. Leopard was a lovie who offered comfort and companionship to a little boy, but Gav was also confident enough that he didn’t try to hide Leopard as he grew older. Leopard was lost once on a vacation. We didn’t realize Gav had left him until we were home. We called and asked for help, but a search of the room turned up empty. The next tenant found Leopard underneath a reclining chair. The attached photo was taken after we learned Leopard was found and would be returned. You can see Leopard on my phone in the photo. This is one of my favorites.
Gav had big, thick hands (see pic) which he inherited from his mother’s side of the family. He learned to looked people in the eye and give them a solid handshake. It was typically accompanied by a friendly and somewhat melodic “hello”. I can still hear him saying it in my mind.
Gavin had a lot of facial hair for his age. You can see this in some of his selfies. He had been shaving his mustache for several months. His sideburns or “mutton chops” as his mom called them, were in need of attention in his final few weeks. I never got the chance to show him how to shave them.
I can’t recall ever hearing Gavin brag or boast. He just didn’t do it.
We have heard many stories from friends, teachers and other parents since he passed. The stories all tell of a wonderful young man who helped people, held doors open, said thank you, engaged in conversation with adults, and greeted people with a smile. One of my close friends said “Gavin thought before he spoke”. I remember feeling very proud about that compliment.
Gav was the kind of kid who liked to spend time and talk with his grandparents, who he loved very much. He loved his grandparent’s homemade pies especially sour cherry and apple.
Gavin held his mom’s hand in public, even as a teenager. When we were out Gav would always walk with Rachel, even if Conor and I were walking ahead at a faster pace. Every time I took the kids somewhere in the car he would give his mom a hug and kiss goodbye then hold his hand out of the car window as we drove away exchanging the “I love you” sign in American Sign Language. He would always look back to make sure Rachel was returning the sign.
We miss our son and Conor misses his brother. Every minute of every day. Rachel used to sing You are My Sunshine to the boys when they were little. Part of our sunshine has been taken away.
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